Grief is a complex matrix of emotional, intellectual, and behavioural responses that surface after the loss of a loved one. These reactions are quite universal, shared by many who endure loss. Mourning is a challenging yet crucial process, touching multiple aspects of a person's life, and is a natural response to loss. To foster a 'new normal', it's important to confront and make sense of these reactions and adapt to the shifts loss imposes.
Processing Grief: The Stages of Mourning
Scientific literature suggests that individuals coping with loss often traverse through different stages of grief. These stages may not follow a set order and it's possible that some stages might not manifest at all. Additionally, the intensity, severity, and duration of these stages can vary significantly from person to person.
Denial: The initial reaction to loss often involves denial of the harsh reality, serving as a defence mechanism to shield against the emotional anguish. Phrases such as "No, he cannot be dead," or "We just talked on the phone yesterday," are commonly heard during this stage. This stage helps an individual gradually process the emotional pain caused by the loss.
Anger: Following denial, anger often surfaces. During this stage, individuals may ask questions like, "Why did this happen to me?" or "Why him/her?" This anger is sometimes directed at the deceased with sentiments like "I told him to take care of his health." With time, this anger usually subsides.
Bargaining: This stage sees the individual attempting to negotiate with a higher power, doctors, or others, seeking to delay acceptance of death. When these efforts prove fruitless, the individual begins to reconcile with the reality of death.
Depression: This stage involves the acknowledgement of the reality of death and the ensuing feelings of helplessness and despair. It's a stage where the pain is felt most intensely, often accompanied by sadness, longing, crying, and a lack of focus and motivation. If the severity of depression continues for an extended period, professional support should be sought.
Acceptance: The final stage is about accepting the reality of death and adapting to new situations while holding onto hope. This process includes maintaining symbolic ties with the deceased and creating a 'new normal' in their absence.
Overcoming the Damaging Effects of Grief
Accepting Loss: The acceptance of loss is a gradual process. Participating in pre-death rituals (e.g. funeral, memorial service, commemoration) and sharing past positive memories can ease this journey.
Expressing Grief: Working through the pain and expressing emotions can prevent physical symptoms or unusual behaviours that may reduce the quality of life. It's important for individuals to share their feelings with trusted others, while also respecting that everyone's grief journey is unique.
Adapting to an Absent Loved One: Balancing preserving memories of the deceased with adjusting to a changing world can be challenging. Here, alongside the support from family and friends, professional help from legal and financial advisors, and psychological counsellors can be beneficial.
Emotionally Reconnecting and Moving Forward: This stage involves redirecting emotions about the loss to other relationships and personal interests. Remember, continuing with life doesn't equate to forgetting the deceased.
Remember...
Different cultures, societies, and families have unique ways of expressing loss, mourning, and death. It's natural to cry and look at the photographs of the departed. There's no specific period for mourning; it's a personal journey that varies greatly from person to person.
Embrace your grief in a manner that feels most comfortable to you. Seek social support from friends and family, and don't hesitate to look for support groups or psychological assistance if needed. During special occasions or anniversaries, surround yourself with supportive people.
Maintain a healthy lifestyle by paying attention to your nutrition and sleep patterns. Seek professional help if your reactions are intense, prolonged, or disrupt your daily life.
Forever Remembered Through Memorial Stories
Memorial Stories provides an online space for honouring and cherishing your dearly loved ones. We understand the therapeutic power of creating a memorial in processing emotions. Here, you can celebrate the times shared and relive those cherished memories.
Our online memorial manager allows you to craft a unique digital tribute, selecting photographs or videos that resonate with your bond. We also offer a QR code memorial plaque for your loved one's grave, creating a bridge between the physical and the digital. This way, their presence stays with you wherever you go, their memories forever etched in your heart and in the annals of Memorial Stories.